standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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