PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
