I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
