my phone needs a breathalizer
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
