Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Randomize
