CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
