You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
