But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
