It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Pappa wants mamma naked
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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