You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
