I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
