She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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