you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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