So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
this hospital has no fireball
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
