I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
