i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
