I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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