we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
