dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
