I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize