plz talk dirty to me
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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