and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize