the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
