Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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