she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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