you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
