Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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