Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
