just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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