I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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