I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
