if i can run in heels then i can drive
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
