i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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