I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
