East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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