Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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