How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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