I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
