So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
