Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
