Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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