I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
