just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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