he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
