you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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