Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize