I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
