question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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