when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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