Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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