you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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