What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
