loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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