Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
