dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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