She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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