i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
