if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
