I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
