I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize